My online activities is getting lesser for the past few days. I will be continuing to do so for my online endeavors. This means my networking routines will be reducing. I will be doing:
- Less comments
- Less reading/blog hopping
- Less retweeting
- Less blogging
I am not quitting blogging. Then why the sudden change? It’s an effort of mine to allocate more time to my wife and my three year old son. If you have been following this blog, I once wrote a post on How to find the right balance between family/blogging. I feel like I am slapping my own face now, for I am lost and losing balance on that. I find myself spending more time online rather than with my family.
The two most important facts in that post is:
1. Recognize your priority
2. Spare a thought for the feelings of your family.
It seems what I am doing now is blogging becomes my priority and I surely never spare a thought for my family’s feeling by indulging most of my spare time to blogging. M(my wife) is very supportive in me pursuing my hobby online. But she thinks I have gone overboard for which I agree. I am too obsessed in blogging or reading blogs and don’t even realized that I have neglected her and my son.
Almost seven days facing the computer and seldom show my care and concern for them is very hard to take for M. She finally gave me the showdown last Saturday, warning me it could potentially wreck our marriage if there is no changes. As a woman, she craves for love and concern from her husband and I actually failed to give her that.
This is a wake-up call for me. I had to recognize my priorities right from now on. To be frank, there are so many things need to be done when you blog. Besides writing on our own blog, reading and networking are some heavy chores that can take up a big bulk of your time. In order to allocate more time to my family, I have to cut down on my blog hopping and commenting. It may have an negative effect on my traffic but I have to make a choice. My family means everything to me. If I have to choose, I would rather give up blogging than my love ones.
Daddy, I don’t want to go home
I have been hearing this sentence from my son for the past few weeks. Initially I thought it was all part of growing up. M tends to see things differently. She knows Alvan(my son) is boring at home. Daddy is always online and mommy has her household chores to do. All he has is the TV.
When I heard that, somehow I felt very guilty towards Alvan.
When was last time when Daddy read him a story book?
When was last time when Daddy play some ball games with him?
NONE AT ALL.
I know there must be changes. I don’t want him to grow up feeling Daddy doesn’t love him at all. There must be a sacrifice on my part to reduce time on my beloved hobby; blogging. I want Alvan to grow up happily and tell others that his Daddy was there to accompany him when he was young. After some pondering, I decided that this is the correct decision i have made for M and Alvan.
While you are working hard to create a successful online business, are you stopping for a second and show some love/concern to your loved ones. If you have been neglecting them all this while, probably it’s time to do something and show that you care.
- Go ahead and tell your loved one “I love you”
- Bring them out for a movie if you have not done so for a long time
- Spend some quality time with your kid now
- Buy some gifts for them
I tend to take things for granted. Hopefully you are not doing that. Appreciate and cherish the relationship between you and your loved ones. Nothing in the world can replace that. Even when you finally see your online success, you would love to have someone to share the joy with you.
Best wishes,
No related posts.
This post has really made me think, Lye. I’m sure every serious blogger has had this problem at some time and the only solution would seem to be the one you describe. It’s all or nothing sometimes, isn’t it. I have decided to limit my activities to mornings mainly and I try to keep to that but it is hard.
I wish you well with this change of routine and will be very interested to read how you get on.
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Hi Linda,
It’s very hard indeed. Time is not enough and you have to get the priorities right. If you choose family, the will surely affect your workload in blogging. We just have to know which is more important.
Thanks for the well wishes.
Lye
Hi Linda I agree with you. I’ve the same problem also. Thank to Lye to remind me to keep balance. Thanks Lye for your article!
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Hi Lye,
I can relate as I have a 2 year old son. I make an effort to read to him every night when he goes to bed. I generally end up sacrificing sleep rather than losing time with my family, though I too let him watch more TV than he should.
In general, I try to write up a blog post when I wake up in the morning before he wakes up. If he wakes up while I’m writing, I’ll give him some breakfast and finish up while he’s eating. Then I get him ready for school and go to work. I can check on my comments at work on my iphone.
Then afterwork, it’s family time while we have dinner and get ready for bed. I’ll finish up my blogging activities after he goes to bed.
It’s a full schedule, which is why I don’t post daily. But it’s definitely rewarding to make sure I can have that family time.
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Hi Richard,
You have set yourself a great and consistent routine. Your kid will surely appreciate that. If you can get the balance right, it’s definitely rewarding for both sides.
Thanks for sharing your experiences my friend.
Lye
Lye, it’s hard to get that balance right. Like I said, I tend to sacrifice in sleep which will catch up to me after a couple of weeks.
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Hi Richard,
That shows what a great Daddy you are. It is tiring but i believe every daddy is willing to sacrifice for the sake of his kid.
Love it. It’s soo true as well; when it comes right down to it, family really trumps work. It’s tough to achieve that balance, but oh so worthwhile!!
Your children will be young only once. So take advantage of it while you can.
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Hi Barbara,
Family means everything, i will choose family no matter what i have. I agree. Once my son grows up, i can never chase back the time.
Thanks for the support.
Lye
I think it’s so hard to maintain a continuous perfect balance. We change and circumstances change. So the trick is when we feel life is getting out of balance, make the necessary adjustments. It’s like a sailing that has to tack back and forth but eventually gets to its destination. Sounds like you got your priorities straight. Good luck!
Riley
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Hi Riley,
You are a wise man. I like how you describe on the sailing part. Eventually we will get to the destination, no problem in adjusting due to changes.
Thanks for commenting.
Lye
Yup, I’ve heard that several times Lye.
Difficult to draw the lines sometimes. Blogging takes a lot out of you, but can be so rewarding personally and professionally.
But one of the drawbacks is that it does take away from your family life to some extent. I guess you just have to commit to a schedule and stick with it.
I went through the whole guilt thing of being a mom and spending so much time on the computer and how it may impact my children. But someone once pointed out to me that you are not only doing this for yourself but for your family. Sometimes you have to look at the big picture.
Even when you are doing it just as a hobby, it’s something for YOU, that you love and feeds your soul. They always say, take care of you so you can take care of others.
But yes, I do agree that there has to be limits and that family always comes first! Because at the end of the day, 10 years from now your family will still be there, the blog/business may or may not. In the grand scheme of things it’s insignificant to what’s truly important: the relationships you create and nurture in the real word and the love and support of your family.
All the best. I’m sure it will all work out.
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Hi Michele,
A golden piece of advice from you. I will still stick to my decision by now because i can’t pursue my hobby at the expense of ignoring how my family feels.
It’s just taking a step backward, slow down a bit and walk on a slower pace. As long as everything goes in place, no harm picking up the pace later.
Thanks for the support and comments.
Lye
Twitter: Couponseasy
Hi Lye,
I understand what you want to convey here. But sometime it’s not possible for us to keep balance in our personal and professional life. After all we’re human beings and live in a society. We can try but it always not work.
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Hi Riya,
If we can’t find a balance, then we need to sacrifice some. We need to focus on on things that matter most.
Thanks for the comments.
Lye
Hi Lye,
Great post with awesome point, Nothing to say just appreciation from my heart.
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Hi Anu,
Appreciate your support. Thanks for commenting.
Lye
Twitter: AdamPaudyal
Lye; very thoughtful post – something I can really relate to as well.
Ya know, juggling between family time, regular work and blogging really tears a person down. You wife ain’t the only one Lye; mine is the same (O: ( By the way as I am writing this, my wife is reading what I write and she is giving me that smile )
I try to explain to her the best I can as to why what I do everyday is important, necessary rather and we have to look at a bigger goal. She has come a long way into understanding this but I am definitely doing my part as well – you can tell since I don’t post as frequently as I used to and cut a lot of time commenting and blog hopping.
I believe we have to find the right balance but finding that balance can be sometimes hard.
Personally, I know you are going to be fine Lye!
Just continue doing what you think is the best and keep your heads up!
Later brother..
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Hi Adam,
I know you will be here to share your views regarding this. Your wife must be very supportive since you have explained what you have to do in order to make it online.
Great to know you have done your part as well. I believe we should be focusing our energy in producing compelling content. Time is really limited on our side.
I am surely going to be fine Adam. I know you will be too. All the best on your online endeavor brother.
Lye
Hi Lye,
I think I’ve had the exact same conversation with my 5 year old son. Only thing is that since I’m the mom, the responsibility to look after and entertain him falls even more on my shoulders.
I’ve taken to working nights after everyone has gone to sleep. It’s not something that can be sustained over long periods of time since I’ve still got to get up for the am school run, but it was the only solution I had to maintain the family/work balance.
I have tons of comments that have gone unanswered for this very reason. People still read and comment on my blog and it’s still growing, but I’ve had to cut back as well. There’s just not enough hours in the day! I commend you for placing such a high value on your family.
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Hi Kiesha,
I am really please that you are here to share your experiences with us. I really admire you having to juggle between your family and your online business and you do it well.
There is not much choice as our kids needs are always the priority for us parents. Like what i have told Richard above, by sacrificing your sleeping time for the sake of your son is definitely worth it.
Thanks for taking the time to drop by and give your comments Kiesha. Really appreciate it.
Lye
Hi Lye, this was really touching. I don’t have children, but I do have a partner who has become increasingly ignored as I have taken to spending more and more time on my laptop. Not always working mind you. It’s so important to find balance between online life and achieving your aspirations, and REAL life, with people who love and care for you,and whilst wanting you to succeed, need you to be actually present. This was a great post
stacey
Twitter: Findmyblogway
Hi Stacey,
As Linda had said, we will bound to face this kind scenario when we need to juggle between loved one and blogging.
It’s sometimes difficult to get a balance but with some effort both both party, i believe we will work it out. All the best to your online endeavor.
Thanks for visiting and commenting.
Lye
Awesome post and i believe you will come back soon on your job means you will give some time to your blog and beside that also you will maintain good routine with your family.
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Hi Sam,
Thanks a lot, i will not giving up this just that my time online will be lesser. It’s important to keep my family happy while i am blogging.
Lye
Please daddy don’t go hahaha
I really understand you Lye, and my advice for you is to pay attention to your family. Because blogging can never stand by you if times are hard! Only your love ones will do. Go hug them and tell them you won’t do that again 
As times goes on, you will find the balance. I also don’t blog daily unlike before due to school work and other projects. But blogging is always on my mind. 
Have fun bro 
Twitter: Findmyblogway
Hi Samuel,
Thanks for the humor. You make my day bright bro. Even though you are busy with your school work but i can tell you are really dedicated to blogging. Keep the good work up brother.
Appreciate your comment.
Lye
Bravo, Lye!
Good for you. =) You recognized the important things in life, and you’re making a solid and significant change to acknowledge your priorities and be true to yourself.
Recently, I had to do the same when it came to my freelance writing. I was giving all the time to my daughter that she craved, and then was pulling all-nighters to catch up on all my work when she was sleeping. But then the exhaustion was starting to show in very destructive ways, so I had to finally admit that I was my own priority, as well.
Has my work suffered? Definitely. Does it worry me? You bet. But am I a better mother and partner?
Absolutely. =)
Good luck! I wish you all the best with your family.
Delena
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Hi Delena,
I know this post will struck a cord with you as you mentioned you have a young daughter. Though it affects your work but sure that you are a better mother. Just imagine how happy your daughter is when she know mommy is always there for her.
Thanks for the comments.
Lye
Hi Lye! I’m glad that you’ve already realize what your priority really is – your family. Some of us these days are too busy earning income for our own families but in reality, we are already taking our relationship with them for granted. You really have to turn off your computer, Daddy.
Twitter: Findmyblogway
Hi John,
There is no dispute about this. My family is always the most important to me. I am glad to let them know that i am willing to sacrifice my hobby for them.
Thanks for the support and comments.
Lye
Lye,
You have set the priorities straight!
It is important to recognize what is the most important thing in one’s life.
Sometimes finding the balance between the family life and blogging may be difficult.
I try to take advantage of all those moments (work on my blog), when my wife is out of the home (hobbies and such things..) or watching a TV show, that I’m not interested in.
Also, early wake-ups make possible to get stuff done while my wife is still sleeping. Our home is quiet and I use that time for working.
Twitter: Findmyblogway
Hi Timo,
As a family man, i know you will understand the difficulties to juggle between blogging and family.
I am try to dedicate more time to my family while maintaining my blogging passion with some free time available.
Thanks for dropping by Timo. Appreciate the support.
Lye
There definitely has to be a work life balance. Though I’m sure you’re doing all this online stuff because you really enjoy it. Time on here flies by.
However your son is only young once. I’m sure he would love his dad to spend time with him more.
I don’t think buying gifts is the most important thing. Just sounds like your wife and son just want your attention and love. That’s the most important thing.
Cutting back will be worth it. If I could help in anyway, let me know.
Twitter: Findmyblogway
Hi Benny,
You are right. I enjoy blogging a lot. But need to take care of my wife and son’s feeling.
My attention and love! Spot on, that’s what i am trying to do now.
Thanks for offering your help. I really appreciate that.
Lye
Hi Lye,
Great stuff.I like your point of prioritizing the things.This maintains a balance between the different aspects of our lives.
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Hi Steven,
Guess i am always losing balance before that. Glad to maintain back the balance.
Thanks for the comments.
Lye
Hi Lye,
Very nice article and very nice decision.I think before doing things people should prioritize them.This will lead to a better harmony in our lives.
Twitter: Findmyblogway
Hi Shivam,
I am just sharing my personal experiences and i hope this should serve as a warning to other. We must learn to prioritize for our lives.
Thanks for the comments.
Lye
[...] read a poignant post over at “Find Your Way Blog”. Lye spoke about his son and the questions which caused him to rethink the way he was working. I also recently read an interview with Dan [...]
[...] note: I have talked about how i lose balance on family and blogging. In this post, Steven gives us a good layout of how you can balance between blogging while holding [...]
Hello, this is the first time I am here. I have read three of your posts, and I can tell you I really like them. But, after reading this one, I can tell you now have my full attention. This is amazing.
I support this, and I truly like your choice of priorities.
I will visit your page more often from now on.
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Hi Daca,
Welcome to this blog. I have to say seeing comments like yours really warms my heart. This is what blogging really means to me.
Thank you very much for the support and comments. See you around soon. Take care.
Lye
A very touching story from a Daddy like you! I must say that you’ll definitely make the right decision! Both my parents have been too busy with their professions since I was a kid. Though they still find time for us at least, I can say that I don’t have enough memories from them. Goodluck to you! I know you’ll be the best that for him!
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Hi Adrian,
I am doing what i can do to provide a better environment for my son. Guess that’s what a daddy need to do.
Thanks for sharing your experiences and comments.
Lye
I used to sit two days in front of the computer and then sleep for another day, then repeat the cycle. You can imagine i was hard to get in touch with.
But this is not a healthy life style, and you’ll inevitably alienate people. So i made some changes, we need to put family and friends first, everything else should be second.
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Hi Martin,
Glad you are getting the priorities right. It’s true that nothing can be more important than families.
Thanks for the comments.
Lye
Family means everything, we have to give up everything just for our family. That’s why when its my day off, I spend a lot of time to my son, I play with him, we go out and stroll in the park. I take my time to my precious one co’z they’re only young once so have a time with them.
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Hi Mamie,
Sure it is, nothing can be more important than our family. I wish i can spend every hour but something you will find him a headache when he is not listening. That’s how tough a parent can be.
Thanks for showing your support and the comments. Much appreciated.
Lye
[...] “Daddy, Can You Please Off Your Computer?“ [...]
Twitter: onlinetaxpros
Bill Cosby was right when he said, “Kids say the darnedest things…” Sometimes it takes people other than ourselves to make us look more inwardly. It’s hard sometimes to tell when you’re spending too much time on work. You always start with good intentions, like, “I’m doing this to give my family a better life.” But if you’re not spending time with that family, how much better is their life if you’re not a part of it?
Excellent post and a wake up call or friendly reminder to many to not only support your family with money, but with you!